One of the most magical moments in life is the moment you find out that you are soon to become a mother – if that is part of your agenda. I remember finding out I was pregnant with Nora (my first) and I was over the moon with excitement and joy. I read books and constantly researched on what to expect and how I can guarantee being the best mother for my newborn. I would spend hours following up and connecting with existing mothers to make sure that I had not missed out on anything and that I was sure I would be the best I possibly can.
Despite all the knowledge and so called “know-how” the minute she was born, the 9 months I spent “understanding” her were thrown down the drain.
I disregarded everything I was told and ignored everything I ever read because no book or article can ever prepare you for what is to come next. Just like children do not come with a manual, there is no manual that can prepare you for what needs your child might have. There are endless discussions about how to do it right and how to avoid the wrong, but I can tell you one thing – there is no right or wrong – the only right and wrong is dictated by your child, their needs, their desires – based on their character and personality.
Today I am on round two, blessed to be pregnant for the second time, this time with a little baby boy. We are again excited, super happy and anticipating a new baby in our lives; but to tell you that it has been a walk in the park would be a lie.
With my first pregnancy I unfortunately suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which is severe nausea and vomiting. It started at around 2 months and lasted till my 5th month – I remember the relief when it was all over, now I look back and laugh at how I thought it would never end.
It is no myth when they say you forget your hardships when baby is born, maybe because the human body naturally wants you to do it again, slowly omitting the horrible moments from your memory.
Well, 2 years later and I can say my memory has been greatly refreshed. They say every pregnancy is different, myths that girl pregnancies are harder than boy ones, and the list goes on! I today can confirm that I see no difference. I am almost in my 6th month and I still suffer from what they call morning sickness (although in my case it is never in the morning).
It is mentally paralyzing and physically exhausting to feel like you are nauseated 24/7. Social gatherings are cut short because you just want to go back home, getting your daily routine work done becomes a debilitating task and your mind just cannot stop counting the days till this feeling goes away.
Ginger gum, ginger tea, motion sickness bands and the list goes on. If there is one thing I can tell you, there is nothing but a positive attitude that can get you through the day – I call all the rest placebo.
Telling yourself that it can always be worse is the best remedy. Knowing deep down inside that in no time this will all be over and forgotten brings relief. However, the biggest relief you can experience is remembering that this will all be worth it in a few months; that is what keeps you sane.
I chose to write this today because I want to portray the truth that being a mother is not always a walk in the park. Being a mother is exhausting, it is both physically and mentally draining, it is both a blessing and a curse. However, it takes one smile, or one “I love you mom” to make you forget all the above and in some weird way, everything all of a sudden becomes beautiful.
I choose to share my journey with you in writing because it takes no more than 5 minutes to snap a picture, filter it and post it on Instagram with a catchy phrase, a platform that is just a snippet of real life. Being a blogger is not always glamour and glitz, it is a great job that is super entertaining and rewarding – but it is not a reflection of a perfect life because a perfect life is not supposed to exist.
Perfection comes in how you choose to deal with things, my perfection comes in me pushing myself everyday to be the best I possibly can, to get up, dress up and show up no matter what.
Confessions from the heart.
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